Bipolar Hentai Luck
by GoodKing0
Summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of an Harem. Or is it? (Harry/Harem; Smut; Comedy; Book 5 AU; Rest of the warnings in the prologue)
1. PROLOGUE

**A N: Don't own.**

**A N 2: WARNINGS**

**This is yet another Harry/Harem Fic. I know, it's not what I usually write and it has been done, like, hundreds of times.**

**But I was bored.**

**So, some fair warnings before we begin…**

**THIS FANFICTION CONTAINS:**

**1- Harry/Harem. Hentai Stile (As in "Awkward Schoolboy with a big secret gets an Harem of hot gals against his will because reasons").**

**2- Ron Bashing: Because, hell, this is an Harry/Harem Fic! If there' somewhere where the ginger "Deserves" to get bashed, is here.**

**3- Senile!Dumbledore: The best kind of Dumbledore.**

**4- Draco Bashing: Same reason of Ron Bashing. And also because he is kind of a dick in the books too.**

**5- M/F, F/F, M/F/F, M/Several F, Several F/ Several F and so on: Shocking, isn't it? **

**6- At least a (probably badly written) sex scene each chapter except this one. I hope.**

**7- What I like to call Neville/Harem of Female Supporting Characters. It's mostly to pair the spares and to give Neville something he rightly deserves. They have a marginal role in this and none of their sex will be shown.**

**8- Out of Characterness? Probably, I suppose.**

**9- Closet Gay! Dead! Cedric: Whose "Particular tendencies" had changed Cho in... unexpected ways. (SPOILER ALLERT: This story May/May not contain pegging on the main character. It will of course mention it in the author note of the chapter if there's any risk of it from happening in said chapter so that you can skip it.)**

**10- Book 5 AU: Look, some of you will probably start raging about the underage sex and shit. To those people I say: "It's not underage sex." The character's ages will never be mentioned (apart for the age's differences) so, as far as you're concerned, this is happening in an alternate world where those idiots are 18 during their fifth year or some other shit. I don't know, use your imagination or something, Goddammit.**

**11- Bipolar Hentai Luck Rule: "If there's even a small possibility for the main character to have sex with a woman, he will have sex with that woman. This will usually happen during the worst possible moment, especially if there's an high probability for them to be discovered, and will bring more harm than good to the main character on the long run." Why this happens will explained later on in the story.**

**12- Laughable Villains: The Death Eaters will be basically reduced to "Hitler Rants" level of idiocy. If not worst.**

**13- Incompetent Ministry: Basically like Canon!Ministry.**

**THIS FANFICTION ****DOESN'T**** CONTAIN:**

**1- Ginny Bashing: Look, I don't care if she's a slut or has used Love Potion on him. She's still a fairly decent looking girl, and she's still somewhat close to him. Hence, she's in the Harem. Deal with it.**

**2- Neville/Luna: I know, I'm sad too, but sacrifices had to be made.**

**3- Harry/MILF: It… it would be just wrong. I don't care that Narcissa and Bellatrix are SOMEHOW considered hot. I would feel utterly uncomfortable in writing Scarhead with an Oedipus Complex. Tonks is fair game, thought.**

**4- Male Slash: I'm a guy, and I generally consider myself straight, so no M/M will be shown and there will be no other males other than Scarhead in the harem. Of course, M/M MIGHT be mentioned (Always to pair the spares and/or taunt Twilight).**

**5- Abusive!Harry: Far worse than Harry/MILF. Seriously, the idiot has been blessed by "The Power that Be" (That being me) with an Harem of generally young, generally nice looking witches… And he mentally/physically abuses them? With his past history of familial abuse? That's just stupid.**

**6- Actually, any kind of Harry except for Somewhat Naïve!Harry. So no Evil!Indipendent!Harry for you, guys.**

**7- Original Female Characters: I loathe them. LOATHE THEM!**

**A N 3: WARNING FOR THE CHAPTER: Death will be shown in this chapter. Twice.**

**Now that I've said that, let's start this… Thing.**

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

Somewhere, on the only functioning swing in a playground in the Surrey, Harry Potter was brooding.

He was a skinny, black-haired, bespectacled boy who had the pinched, slightly unhealthy look of someone who has grown a lot in a short space of time. His jeans were torn and dirty, his T-shirt baggy and faded, and the soles of his trainers were peeling away from the uppers.

He stared at the ground, his mind plagued by the memory of Cedric's death.

"_It's all my fault…_" He started internally angsting before hearing a loud cracking sound.

He jumped up, wand in his hand, looking around for any sign of the apparated wizard, hoping it to be someone finally taking him away from that dreadful home he was forced to live every summer, but fearing it to be one of Voldemort's cronies, come to finish his master's job.

EHM.

Harry was then startled by the sudden voice coming from behind him.

It sounded like two tombstones grinding together.

Harry turned toward the source of the sound, his wand held high, ready to hex him.

CAREFUL BOY, the figure said, holding both his hands up in surrender, YOU COULD POKE SOMEONE'S EYEBALL WITH THAT.

The figure briefly froze before giving a small, mirthless chuckle.

Harry eyed the stranger… strangely.

Harry couldn't quite place the man in the scenery, almost like his eyes refused to consider him real. All Harry could focus on was that the man incredibly thin, someone might have called him bony, but compensated that slenderness with his exceptional tallness. He was dressed in a black robe that covered all of his body, which made Harry wary.

"Show me…" Harry cautiously began, his wand still pointed against the stranger, "… Show me you arm."

The stranger gave him a curious look, his deep, blue eyes twinkling like stars.

I'M SORRY?

"Show me your arm…" Harry repeated, an edge in his voice, "… I need to check if you're a Death Eater"

The stranger face, that since then was frozen in a constantly toothy grin, _tried _to frown.

THAT'S… KIND OF OFFENSIVE, BOY.

"The arm." Harry repeated, ready to stun the stranger.

The man sighed, a sound so soft and hissed that Harry thought it was parseltongue.

He then revealed his bony left arm, showing no sign of any tattoo on it.

Harry allowed himself to relax, slightly lowering his wand.

"Who are you?" Harry asked the stranger.

EHM, he said, starting to fidgeting, THAT'S… NOT IMPORTANT.

Harry gave him a disbelieving look, "Fine, what do you want, then?"

EHM, he repeated again, DO YOU HAVE ANY APPLES?

"What?" Harry asked, startled by the question.

APPLES, The stranger said again, OR MAYBE A WARM CLOAK, OR…

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked, irritated by the man's requests.

The stranger sighed again, LOOK, BOY, THAT'S NOT REALLY MY JOB, BUT… he started saying, fishing inside his robe for something, BUT _SHE_ WAS BUSY WITH SOME BRIDGE BUILDERS IN JAPAN, AND HAS ASKED ME TO DELIVER IT…

"What?" Harry said, confused, "Who was busy? And deliver what?"

… DELIVER- _HA, FOUND IT_-THIS.

He triumphantly extracted a wooden cube from his robes, holding it up in the air.

Harry gave it a disbelieving look, "A cube."

The stranger enthusiasm slightly faltered.

IT'S SYMBOLIC, He said, offering the cube to Harry, YOU HELPED ME, AND I'M REWARDING YOU WITH THIS.

"I haven't helped you." Harry stated, still giving the cube a weird look.

DETAILS, the stranger dismissed him with an hand wave, NOW TAKE IT.

Harry probably believed that if he stared at the cube long enough, it would have blinked out of existence.

PLEASE? The stranger pleaded, I NEED TO MEET ANOTHER BOY TODAY, AND I'M REALLY RUNNING LATE, WITHOUT COUNTING ALL THE BACKLOG I MUST BE AMASSING IN MY _REGULAR_ JOB JUST FOR WASTING ALL THIS TIME WITH YOU…

Harry sighed.

PRETTY PLEASE?

"Fine." He said, sighing, as he took the cube from the stranger's hand.

He eyed the plain, smooth cube in his hands.

"Well, now what…?" He began saying before looking up.

The stranger was gone.

"Weird guy" he said before turning his attention toward the cube…

That disappeared in a bright flash, irradiating Harry and temporally blinding him.

Once the sight returned to Harry, he noticed that the cube was now disappeared.

"Okay…" He sighed, quickly accepting yet another element of his life he didn't understand.

He glanced up at the sky, noticing the late hour, and departed from the playground towards his relatives' house.

As he passed a dark, dirty alley, he didn't notice his surroundings, his mind too engrossed in planning his next pity fest and reflecting on what had just happen, thus making him miss the prone, whale-lake creature laying, motionless, in a far corner corner.

* * *

Harry awoke with a groan as someone kept pounding at the front door of the Dursley's home.

He rose from his bed inside the smallest bedroom, heading downstairs still dressed in yesterday's clothes, approaching the door.

"Who is it?" He groggily asked as the pounding stopped.

"The tooth fairy…" A gravelly voice snarked from behind the door, "… Open this damn door, Potter!"

Harry's eyebrows shot upwards as he quickly opened the door, "Professor Moody?"

"I never was your professor…" The old Auror stated as he barged inside the house, "… But if I were, I would have probably detracted points from your house…"

Harry frowned, "What? Why?"

"You didn't check on my identity!" Moody loudly scolded him, "What would have happened I was another servant of the Dark Lord…" He accompanied this by spitting on the floor, "… with awesome acting abilities and another Bigger-On-The-Inside trunk?! You would be dead, that's what would have happened!" He ranted, grabbing hold of his flask and tacking a long sip from it, "… Never trust people, Potter, and most important of all remember to always maintain CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Harry heard some bustle from upstairs and sighed.

"Ehm, Professor Moody, I think your yelling kind of awoke the Dursleys" He tentatively said to the retired Auror.

Mad-Eye grunted, "I wasn't yelling, that was my normal, indoor voice…" He grumbled before grimacing at the two figures quickly descending the stairs in their pajamas, "Goddammit, Dursley, put some clothes on! My magical eye is trying to commit suicide here because of all your fat!" He yelled as his magical eye started spinning like mad.

Vernon Dursley started coloring in a faint shade of puce, "What… What is this… This freak doing in my house?!" He turned towards Harry, "You stupid boy! Bringing here the others of your kind to stain this spotless home!"

Before Harry could retort, Moody positioned himself between the boy and his uncle, "Now, Dursley, I understand that you hate us and that's fine, the feeling is mutual…" Moody began saying in his deep, gravelly voice, "… But, you see, the only thing that is keeping the Dark Lord…" He spitted again on the floor, the two Dursleys eyeing the stain on the ground like it was a plague rat, "… and his minions away from this house are me and other people "Of my kind", so I would like some respect when YOU ARE TALKING TO ME!" He bellowed, smashing his rod against the floor in a loud thump.

"I… I will not permit you to shout to me in my home!" Uncle Vernon yelled at the weird man, slightly trembling in fear.

"I'M NOT SHOUTING!" Mad-Eye shouted.

He composed himself before saying, in a fairly more calmer tone, "Now, I hate to bring you bad news, Dursley…" Harry was impressed by Mad-Eye's ability to say that line with only a slight twitch of his good eye, "… But it appear your son got attacked last night…"

Harry perked up at that, searching for his wand and cursing himself for having left it in his room.

"What?" Petunia said, his voice trembling, "What happened to my Ickle Diddykins?"

"There was a Dementor attack last night…" Mad-Eye continued, his voice grave, "… It appear Harry's cousin was the only causality."

The Dursleys looked worst than Harry had ever seen them as they both fell to their knees, big tears coming out from their eyes.

"This… This is all your fault, boy!" Vernon yelled at Harry in between sobs, "ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Harry winced at his uncle's vehemence.

"Well, since I suppose leaving the boy here now would be kind of suicidal, we will be going…" Mad-Eye quickly said before grabbing Harry's arm and apparating away in a loud crack.

* * *

After a quick stop in Harry's room to grab all of his material possessions, Harry and the Auror apparated on front of the space in between number 11 and 13 of Grimmauld Place.

An old man in obscenely bright purple robes waved at them.

"Harry, Alastor, hope you enjoyed the trip…" Dumbledore greeted them, "… How are Vernon and Petunia doing?"

Moody grimaced, "Not so well, especially after their whale of a son got his soul sucked…"

"Oh…" Dumbledore said, deep in thought, "… Well, they will probably get over it next summer when you will return to them, so don't worry…"

"WHAT?" Harry asked, outraged, "With all due respect, Professor, I don't think they will be eager to take me back after what happened to Dudley…"

"Hush, Harry…" Dumbledore said, hand-waving at him in a patronizing way, "… Time heal all wounds…"

"*Chough* Grindelwald *Chough*" Moody half-coughed half-muttered.

Dumbledore started looking far away, his mind lost in whatever he was thinking at the moment.

"Well, let's get inside, shall we?" Moody said, gesturing toward the empty space between the two apartments.

Harry gave him a blank look.

"Oh, yeah, right…" He turned toward Dumbledore, "… Hey, Albus, what's the secret?"

Dumbledore snapped back from his memories induced coma, "… And of course, there's the new school year you should be preparing to…"

"Albus, the secret." Moody repeated in a more firm tone.

"What?" Dumbledore asked, confused "Oh, yes, number 12 Grimmauld Place, Harry…" Dumbledore began, "… exists, and it's the order of the phoenix's headquarters."

And so Harry started seeing the apartment between number 11 and 13 of Grimmauld place.

* * *

A curve, hunched figure with a black cloak, an ample hood covering its face, sat on a bench of St. James park, a bag of breadcrumbs in its hands.

Sometimes, it would take an handful of them from the paper bag and throw them to the nearby crows, who kept disdaining the figure's futile attempts to feed them.

I SUGGEST TO TRY WITH EYEBALLS NEXT TIME, another tall, skinny figure said, apparently apparating from out of nowhere.

The hunched figure sighed, "_How it went?_" she said, its voice high, like the sound of a crow cawing.

SURPRISINGLY WELL, the tall man said as he sat near his friend, AND SAT STRAIGHTER, YOU WILL ONLY DAMAGE YOUR SPINE BY DOING THAT.

The hunched figure huffed, "_Gosh, you sound like dad._" it said, straightening it's posture.

"_So, I take both the boys had accepted their gifts?_"

The tall figure grunted, OF COURSE.

"_Good._" The once-curved figure stated, "_Soon, all will be well…_"

The stayed in silence for a while, admiring the crows still refusing the food on the ground.

"_Well, I guess I should get going…_" The smaller figure said, standing up, "_There's an Italian bridge-maker who think himself smarter than he is…_"

WHAT'S UP WITH YOU AND BRIDGE-MAKERS? The tall figure asked as he too stood up.

The smaller figure grunted, "_None of your business,…_" she said with a rude tone.

FINE, the tall figure said, slowly raising from the bench.

They bid each other farewell as they both disapparated away.

And then the crows started eating.

* * *

**A N 4: So, I promise next chapter will contain smut. And I promise to write it in at least an half decent way. I hope.**


	2. CHAPTER 1

**A N: Don't Own. And I'm not planning to use it for financial gain, unlike those people who write Twilight Crap and then got published.**

**A N 2: WARNINGS FOR THE CHAPTER: Standard Smut and something that could very well be considered as "Reverse Cuckolding". (H/Hr; H/G)**

**A N 3: RETCON: So, Moody gets Harry shortly after he got to bed, somewhere around midnight. This means this chapter is set AT NIGHT.**

**A N 4: Torigagged: If it happens, it would probably be on the lines of "One of the girls (And never Scarhead) forcibly tie up another of the girls in order to "Rape" Her/Force him to "Rape" Her (In this case there should be a "Dub-Con" Warning on the chapter)."**

**Stargirlpotter: I'm planning on doing something with MANY chapters. Will I manage in such a difficult task? Who knows? And thanks for stalking me.**

**Icefire9: I wish I had your optimism…**

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

**Nr. 12 Grimmauld Place**

Harry stepped over the threshold into the almost total darkness of the hall. He could smell damp, dust and a sweetish, rotting smell; the place had the feeling of a derelict building. He looked over his shoulder and saw Moody quickly entering the building, closing the door behind him.

"But, what about the Headmaster?" Harry asked, confused.

Moody grunted, "That old man is always closed in his office, a bit of fresh air can do only good to him." He whispered in a hushed tone.

"But, what if there's a death eater attack, Sir?" Harry asked, concerned for the Headmaster's well being.

"Lower your voice." Moody commanded, "And I wouldn't worry about Death Eaters right now…"

"What? Why?" Harry asked, eager for answers.

Moody tapped his crocked nose, "Let's just say I've made sure they're all busy right now…"

* * *

"Sir, are you sure that's the place?"

"Of course, Nott, I've received this information by a drunken Dumbledore myself! Now keep searching for Potter, he cannot be too far."

Very Senior Death Eater Nott grunted. He had been a servant of the Dark Lord for years and now, that boy, Flint, was made captain of a death eater squad, while Nott's rank had been severely reduced.

Unconceivable.

He kept searching the weird, empty Muggle building filled with couches and signs written in some weird, unknown language Nott never bothered to learn.

"AIKEAH" He read aloud one of them after another hour of fruitless search, "Must be some other Muggle Bullshit…"

Flint grunted in frustration, "Alright guys, we're concluding nothing here. Let's go outside, torch the building, and call it a day."

They tried to apparate, only now noticing the powerful Anti-Apparition wards set inside the building.

"Well, I guess we will have to do it the Muggle way…" Flint started saying before stopping, looking around the numerous same-looking corridors filled with numerous same-looking couches.

"Guys…" He asked in a concerned tone, "… Do some of you remember where's the exit?"

* * *

Harry groaned in frustration at yet another cryptic answer that was given to him in his still short life.

Unfortunately, he groaned too loud.

"MUGGLE FILTH!" some tattered curtains flung open, revealing the angry looking portrait of an old woman, "YOU DARE TO DESECRATE THE MOST NOBLE AND ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK WITH YOUR GROANING! KREACHER! WHERE'S KREACHER?! CLEAN THIS HOUSE OF THE MUGGLE FILTH!"

"Shut up you old hag!" Harry heard Moody say before a blue Hex was casted against the curtains, temporarily shutting them.

Harry glanced toward the source of the Hex, only to find…

Another Moody.

Harry quickly withdrawn his wand, aiming it alternately against the two Moodys, "Okay, what's happening here?"

New-Moody groaned, "Dammit, Nymphadora, we decided to get the boy all together…"

Old-Moody giggled, a sight that would have scared Godric Gryffindor himself.

Harry pointed his wand towards Old-Moody, "Who are you?"

"Wotcher, Harry…" The man said in a female voice "… I'm Auror…" "JuniorAuror" "_Junior_ Auror Tonks, Sirius' cousin and…" He stared in the void for a moment as his body slowly turned into a woman witha pale heart-shaped face, dark twinkling eyes, and short spiky hair that was a violent shade of violet. She discarded the peg leg as another one made of flesh started growing back, "… You can put down that wand, I'm a friend."

Harry eyed warily the magic eye still attached to the now woman-looking woman as he slowly lowered his wand.

Moody groaned in frustration, "Dammit, Potter, you don't lower your wand just because the cute Metamorphmagus says she's a friend, has my abductor ever taught you anything?" He then turned toward the woman, "And you, young lady, how the hell did you manage to get my spare set of peg leg and eye?"

"You think I'm cute?" the woman called Tonks innocently asked.

"Don't change the topic." He said before turning to Harry, "You, upstairs there are the people who will probably backstab you in the worst possible moment, now go to them and sleep well!" He briskly whispered as he descended the stairs.

Harry gave him a confused look.

"He means your friends." Tonks explained.

Moody grunted.

"Where are they?" Harry asked as he started climbing the stairs.

"Third room on the first floor." Tonks said with a devious grin, the magical eye she had stole from Mad-Eye firmly gazing his pants.

Harry quickly climbed the stairs, leaving the two Aurors alone as Moody was about to say something.

He scanned the dimly lit corridor, finding the aforementioned door, and slowly opening it.

"Hello?" He asked as he entered the room.

"HARRY!" He heard two female voices yell before his vision was obscured by a mass of bushy, brown hairs and one of straight, red ones.

The weight was too much, forcing Harry to fall with his back to the ground.

"Ouch!" He yelped as he hit the ground.

Both girls couldn't care less.

"…We didn't hear you arrive! Oh, how are you? Are you all right? Have you been furious with us? I bet you have, I know our letters were useless - but we couldn't tell you anything, Dumbledore made us swear we wouldn't, oh, we've got so much to tell you, and you've got things to tell us - 'the Dementors! When we heard…"

Harry noticed, while desperately trying to breath under the weight of his female best friend and his male best friend's little sister, that his body was now very close with his female best friend's and his male best friend's little sister's bodies.

He slowly gulped as he felt the nakedness of their bodies under Ginny's long nightgown and Hermione's pajama.

"Hermione… Can't… Breath…" He stuttered, praying whatever god wizards prays for both the girls to not notice a certain part of his body _stiffening._

"Yeah, sorry…" She said, slightly blushing, as she let go of him, rising from the ground.

"Ehm, Ginny, could you please let go of me…?" He tentatively asked the red head who was still attached to him.

"Just another minute…" She whimpered, her eyes closed, sniffing his chest.

Her eyes shot open.

"Ehm…" She began, her face redder then her hair, as she quickly stumbled upright, "… Don't know from where that came from…"

He rose from the ground, "Where's Ron?" He asked, concerned for his friend's well being.

"He's probably eating his fourth midnight snack again…" Ginny said with a grunt.

A loud crash, followed by the old portrait screams, filled the air.

Harry quickly raised his wand.

"Don't worry, it's just Tonks tripping over the umbrella stand…" Hermione reassured him.

"So, how was your summer?" Ginny asked as she, Harry and Hermione entered the girls' room, closing the doors behind them.

"Uninformative…" Harry said, interrupting their oncoming retorts, "… And I know it wasn't really your faults, but it still was awful to not know anything about the war…"

"We're sorry…" Hermione and Ginny both guiltily said, their eyes down in shame.

"It wasn't that bad…" He said, starting another of his pity fests, "… I mean, I had just seen one of my schoolmates get killed by the same man who had betrayed my family to one of the most ridiculous Dark Lords in real and fictional history, Dark Lord who then had the good idea to use a drop of my blood to resurrect himself into full strength and, after winning the most dangerous tournament of the century and giving away all the money I'd just won _to your brothers, Ginny…_" Ginny eyes widened at that, "… I get locked up in the second most dangerous jail in England, the first being Azkaban, without no connection with the outside world but Hey, at least now Cho is single again!"

Both the girls flinched at the boy's anger.

"Harry…" Hermione began saying, slowly approaching him, "… If there's anything we can do for you to make you forgive us, you just need to ask…"

Harry gave his friend a surprised look, "Hermione, are you suggesting to…" He suggestively wriggled his eyebrows.

"What?" Hermione asked, confused.

"You know…" He awkwardly said, "… That thing parents do when they really love each other…"

Hermione frowned, "You mean get a life insurance in favor of my husband?" Her frown deepened, "… That I don't have…"

"No, I mean…" He tried to show her with gestures, failing miserably.

"I don't know what you mean…" Hermione stated with a clueless tone.

"Oh for Merlin's sake!" Ginny snapped loudly, "Sex! He means sex! He wants to have sex with me! I mean us! I mean YOU!"

"What?" Hermione yelled in a high-pitched tone before swatting his arm, "Harry James Potter, how you dare to suggest such a thing?!"

"What?" Harry asked, confused, "I thought you were suggesting it."

"Ah!" She snapped, "Preposterous, like I would suggest having sex with you to make you forgive me!" she said, slightly flushing, "I would ask you out for dinner first."

"Then what were you implying then?" Harry asked his friend.

Hermione huffed, "I wasn't implying anything."

An awkward silence fell in the room.

Ginny watched her two friends fidgeting in their places.

"If it changes anything, I would like to have sex with you, Harry…" Ginny suggested the boy.

"WHAT?" Both teens snapped, surprised by their friend's forwardness.

"Yeah…" She said, suddenly shy under their combined gazes, "… If you don't mind…"

Harry's survival instinct screamed at him that accepting his Best Male Friend's Little Sister's offer of sex in front of his Best Female Friend wasn't exactly a good idea.

However, Harry hadn't arrived where he was now by listening to his survival instinct.

"Of course" he said shortly before a squealing Ginny propelled herself against him, making him fall on his back on the bed behind him.

She kissed him hard, her tongue trying to force itself inside his mouth before he granted her entrance, her hands slowly running down his chest.

"What are you two doing?!" Hermione asked, ignored by her two friends, "You cannot simply suggest having sex and then have it!" She paused, noticing where they were, "Especially not on my bed!"

"Shut up, you had your chance." Ginny growled, slowly positioning her core over Harry's crotch and slowly grinding, her mouth quickly claiming back Harry's, his hands firmly planted on her backside.

Harry let himself escape a soft whimper as his cock twitched.

"Unbelievable!" Hermione almost shouted, "You cannot have sex in front of me!"

"Then don't watch, no one is forcing you…" Ginny said as she pulled Harry out of his oversized shirt, throwing it away and missing Hermione by mere inches.

Hermione tried to look away her two friends' frenzied kissing on her bed for some time before returning her gaze on them, a guilty look on her face.

"You cannot stop staring, right?" Ginny teased her between kisses as Harry's hands grabbed the hem of her nightgown, ready to yank her out of it.

"Harry…" Hermione began saying, kneeling down next to Harry, "… You cannot have sex now, we have to inform you about the war…"

Harry stopped in his tracks, "You're right…"

Ginny slowly crept one of her hands from Harry's chest towards the bulge in his oversized pants, gently stroking it.

"… But I'm sure it can wait." He concluded, grabbing the hem of her nightgown and freeing her from it in a long, messy yank.

He stared at her petite body, now only covered by some already damp panties, as she breathed heavily, her breasts moving up and down.

Ginny flushed, suddenly shy because of the boy attention on her almost naked body.

"I know they're small, but…" she began justifying herself before Harry's mouth shot upwards, claiming her left breast, ending her statement in a low moan.

Hermione groaned in frustration, "Fine, have your fun you two!" She said, slumping on Ginny's bed

Harry's hand began cupping Ginny's right breast, roughly squeezing it.

This made Ginny groan.

"Sorry…" Harry started apologizing against her skin, his tongue briefly scrapping her left nipple, afraid to have hurt his younger friend.

"I'm fine…" She reassured him, her voice hoarse.

Hermione kept staring, speechless, as her Best Friend continued his ravishing of her Best-Ginger-Male-Friend's Little Sister's breasts.

She licked her fingers as her right hand started wandering down inside her pajama's pants, her left hand gently pinching her still covered hard nipple.

She breathed out a soft moan.

Ginny turned towards her brainy friend as Harry kept sucking and licking squeezing her small boobs, "Like what you see, uh?"

Hermione bit her tongue, trying to stop her incoming affirmative answer.

"Are you jealous, Hermione?" Ginny asked in a low tone, her hands placed on his shoulders, pushing his body against the bed, "Jealous of the less attractive girl who's stolen your schoolgirl crush…"

"I don't have a crush on him…" Hermione whimpered as her hand slid under her panties. She started slipping one of her fingers in and out of her wetness.

Ginny scoffed in disbelief as her hands slowly started to trail down his body, reaching his belt.

"I don't!" Hermione repeated as she slid a second finger inside her folds.

"I've repeated that lie to myself so many times…" She said as she undid his belt, her right hand creeping inside his pants, "… Every night after another dream of me playing with his…" She grabbed his still covered cock with a brisk movement.

Ginny froze as her complexion started to pale.

"Ginny, it's all right?" Harry asked, concerned, before dread started filling his eyes, "Oh Merlin, it's not too small, right?"

Ginny, still pale, gave a small chuckle, ""Too small"? Harry, have you ever measured yourself?"

Harry slowly gulped, "Ehm, no…" He guiltily said, not knowing feeling guilty for what.

"Why, how big it is?" Hermione asked as she leaned towards her two friends, briefly stopping her self-pleasuring, arousal and intellectual curiosity (but mostly arousal) filling her voice.

"Well…" Ginny said, slowly dragging down the hem of his pants and boxer, freeing his cock "… Let's just say that compared to him, Buckbeak is as hung as Malfoy…"

Harry grimaced, "You know how big is Malfoy's…"

"Dear Morgana, No!" Ginny yelped, looking rather ill, "… It was just a figure of speech…" she shuddered "A very disgusting figure of speech."

Hermione stared, slack-jawed, at Harry's probably 8 inches erect cock brushing against Ginny's wet panties.

Ginny smirked, "I think you broke the bookworm…"

"Hermione, are you alright?" Harry asked in a concerned tone.

Hermione slowly gulped, her mouth dry "That's bigger than the ones in the pictures in the books I've read…"

"Yeah…" Ginny said as her left hand started stroking Harry's cock, "… And I've called dibs on playing with it first…" She grabbed one side of her panties, shoving it aside "… But you can still use it once I'm finished…"

Hermione's brows furrowed "What, you're not jealous?" She knew that, if she was at her place, she wouldn't have shared Harry with her.

Ginny shrugged as she positioned her opening above Harry's cock, "I've figured long ago that I will never have Harry Potter all for myself…" she said as she steadily but slowly started burying his cock inside of her, inch by inch, "There's too much of him to love" she whimpered.

"Ugh…" Harry groaned, "… Merlin you're tight, Ginny…"

She moaned in agreement as Harry's cock finally reached her hymen.

"Ginny…" Harry began saying before Ginny's hand landed on his mouth.

"Shut up…" She said before completely lowering her hips with a swift motion, his cock completely buried inside of her.

Both teens cried in pain mixed with pleasure as blood started spilling out of Ginny's lower lips.

Hermione was watching all of this with a captured gaze, wincing at her friends' pain, as she too started to undress.

Harry gave Ginny a concerned look, her face hidden in a curtain of hair.

"Ginny…" He started saying before she slowly started rocking her hips, trying to adjust her insides to the size of his cock.

"I've said shut up…" Ginny said, taking up some speed.

Harry grunted in pleasure as she kept rocking her hips, her hands firmly positioned on his shoulders for leverage.

Hermione slid a third finger inside of her as her left hand started rubbing her clit.

Soon, Ginny's hips started frantically rocking against Harry, who was thrusting with all of his might inside of her as moans and grunts filled the air.

"I'm about to cum…!" Harry stated after some time as he kept thrusting from under her.

"CUM INSIDE ME…!" She cried, her pace quickening as she brought one of her hands on her clit, starting to furiously rubbing it, "… FILL MY WOMB WITH YOUR SEED, HARRY!"

Harry groaned as he suddenly felt her walls clenching around his cock, bringing him over the edge.

"Aha!" He groaned as he shot his sperm inside the young woman's womb.

Sometimes after Harry's shot his seed inside of Ginny, Hermione, who was furiously bucking her hips against her fingers, managed to cum, spraying her juices all over Ginny's bed.

Ginny staid there, panting, before slumping on the side, next to Harry, resting her head on his chest.

"Hey, You need to go and do Hermione…" Ginny stated after some time, yawning profusely.

"Yeah…" Harry said, his lids heavy, "… Give me some minutes to catch my breath…"

"We can always do it tomorrow…" Hermione said, she too proved by the scene she had just witnessed.

"Yeah…" Harry agreed with a yawn, "… Let's do it tomorrow."

And so the three teens drifted into sleep.

* * *

**A N 5: Forgot to tell that this story will not contain any kind of pregnancy in the Harem. They MAY end up pregnant in time for the 19-In-The-Future Epilogue (If I ever reach it), but they will not be during this story.**

**A N 6: Before you ask, the long, unflattering nightgown was Molly Weasley's idea to "Protect her little girl virtue in an house filled with serial molesters (Sirius and Tonks)" which bring us to the new Warnings for the whole story that are: Legendary Prude of Doom!Molly (That is slightly different from Molly Bashing. But only slightly) and Legendary Pervert of Doom!Sirius. Be warned.**

**A N 7: So, how it was? The smut, I mean. It was awful? It was passable? Do you have pointers? Complaints? I will try to follow any advice you give me, especially if it's a good advice.**


	3. CHAPTER 2

**A N 1: Don't own.**

**A N 2: WARNING FOR THE CHAPTER: Hopefully longer Standard Smut with Oral Sex and Light Femslash. (H/Hr; Hr/G; H/G).**

**A N 3: Reviews that gave me pointers on the lemon: Thank you, I will try to follow your advises, especially the ones about a longer and more descriptive smut scene.**

**Stargirlpotter: Thank you. And I'm actually in Europe, so I think it will be a bit difficult for you to stalk me.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

**The Woes of Mrs. Weasley**

Morning came on Nr. 12 Grimmauld Place as his inhabitants gently awoke from their peaceful slumber.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER, HOW YOU DARE TO DEFILE MY LITTLE DAUGHTER!" erupted Mrs. Weasley with a shriek of rage at the sight in front of her.

Harry awoke with a start, blinking at the unfamiliar surroundings before the memories of the past night came rushing to him.

"_Oh Merlin…_" He thought as he was lying on a bed with a still very naked Ginny, their mixed bodily fluids now dried on their uncovered organs, "_... we forgot to lock the door…_"

"I GIVE YOU A MINUTE TO REDRESS YOURSELF AND LEAVE THIS ROOM OR, I SWEAR ON MY MAGIC, I'LL KICK YOU OUT OF IT AS YOU ARE!" She wailed, towering menacingly over his supine form.

Harry jumped out of bed and started quickly redressing himself. He shot first a surreptitious glance at Ginny, who gave him an apologetic look, and then Hermione, that at some point during the night must have covered herself with her covers, and was now feigning ignorance about the scene in front of her.

Harry hastily exited the room as Mrs. Weasley grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the stairs.

"In the kitchen, now!" Mrs. Weasley angrily shout-whispered to him as they descended the dark staircase.

They passed something Harry supposed was the umbrella stand where Tonks had tripped last night as they briskly descended another flight of narrow steps and then barged in a room Harry supposed was the kitchen.

It was scarcely less gloomy than the hall above, a cavernous room with rough stone walls. Most of the light was coming from a large fire at the far end of the room. A haze of pipe smoke hung in the air like battle fumes, through which loomed the menacing shapes of heavy iron pots and pans hanging from the dark ceiling. Many chairs had been crammed into the room and a long wooden table stood in the middle of them, littered with one of Mrs. Weasley's famous seven-course breakfasts.

Harry saw the people inside the room and smiled. Professor Lupin, his third year DADA teacher, Sirius, his godfather, Auror Tonks, Moody, Mr. Weasley and Ron were all eating, idly chatting with each other as they ate (or, in the case of Mad-Eye, inspected their food for poisons before not eating it, just to be sure).

The idle chatter that was filling the room quieted as they entered, the only sound now being Ron's masticating jaws as he kept eating his breakfast, uncaring of his surroundings.

"Harry!" Sirius warmly welcomed him, jumping up from his sit and heading toward him, probably in order to hug him.

Mrs. Weasley stopped him, "Sirius, not now, we have dire matters to discuss with Harry…"

A look of sadness briefly crossed Sirius' face before a mischievous light entered his eyes.

"Voldemort wants to steal a prophecy about his, yours and Neville Longbottom's destiny; he is recruiting werewolves in all Europe but has for now failed to recruit both vampires and giants…" Sirius started hastily saying before anyone could stop him, "… The ministry thinks you're nuts, which is stupid, and Dumbledore is too old to do his job anymore, which is not so stupid, as Lucius Malfoy…"

"SIRIUS!" Mrs. Weasley shouted once she regained her ability to speak, a look of horror on her face.

Sirius stopped with a deviant grin, "What, Molly, weren't those the dire matters we had to discuss with my godson?"

"NO!" She answered him with a shriek.

Harry processed what he had just heard, "Wait, a prophecy?"

"I shouldn't have said that..." He stated, still smirking, as he did his best Hagrid's imitation.

Mrs. Weasley drew her wand out, "Well, I guess a little memory charm will do you no bad..."

4 wands were aimed at Mrs. Weasley before Harry could even remember of having left his inside the girls' room.

"Molly, I would like you to stop. Threatening. My godson." Sirius said, his smirk gone, a dangerous edge in his voice.

"You've heard Dumbledore; he's not supposed to know!" Mrs. Weasley said, turning to Sirius as she kept aiming his wand at Harry.

Harry slowly lowered, getting out from the wand's range of fire, and sit on one of the chairs, starting to eat the massive breakfast.

"Molly, dear..." Arthur Weasley cautiously said, one of the few people who weren't aiming a wand at his wife "... Maybe we should wait for Dumbledore first before taking any rushed decision."

Mrs. Weasley scoffed, lowering her wand, "Fine, now..." She turned towards where Harry was supposed to stand, only to find him sitting around the table and eating his breakfast.

She grabbed him, forcibly making him stand, "Sirius, say something to your godson!"

Sirius gave her a puzzled look, "Why, he was just eating..."

"No, he was eating after having DEFILED MY DAUGHTER!" She wailed, causing all people in the room except Ron, who was still eating without a care in the world, to freeze.

"I'm sorry?" Mr. Weasley asked, confusion in his voice.

"This morning, I've found this _boy_ in a bed with our daughter, both naked like the day they were born!"

Silence only interrupted by a still eating Ron filled the room.

Harry slowly gulped at Mr. Weasley's glare, wishing very hard to be somewhere else.

"Really?" Sirius asked jovially, "Harry Potter, you scoundrel, I knew you had it in you."

"What?" Mrs. Weasley asked, outraged, "You're okay with that?!"

"Of course..." He answered, returning to his breakfast, "... As they say, Like Dogfather, like son..."

Lupin gave him an exasperate look, "Dogfather? That's the best you came up with?"

Sirius grunted as he started buttering some bread, "Give me a break, Moony, I've been locked up in prison for 12 years..."

Mrs. Weasley started fuming, "Sirius Orion Black, I will not allow this... this boy to go unpunished for his foul deeds! I pretend satisfaction!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her, "So what?"

"I demand for the immediate marriage of the two miscreants!" She triumphantly yelled, shocking everyone except Ron.

"What?" Harry asked, confused, "But, I cannot marry Ginny, we're too young for that yet!"

"You can..." Lupin, the most versed in magical law in the room, sadly said, "... As for a never repealed law the ministry made in 1654, if a witch and a wizards belonging to a line of at least 7 generations of wizards conceive a son and are then discovered by one of their parents, said parents can force them into marriage..."

"Seriously?" Sirius asked his friend before turning to Mrs. Weasley, "Are you, Molly _Weasley_, seriously using an outdated pureblood law against me_, _Sirius _Black_, in order to force my godson to marry your daughter?"

"If it works..." Mrs. Weasley said with a haughty tone.

"I am the only one seeing the irony in this?" Tonks asked at the room at large.

And that was the moment both Ginny and Hermione decided to head down for breakfast.

"Great!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, "Now we will just check that my daughter is pregnant and we can marry them!"

Both girls' eyes widened by hearing that. They both looked at Harry, who gave them an apologetic look.

Mrs. Weasley drew out her wand, aiming it at Ginny, "_Scio Concepit!_"

A blue spell was casted from Mrs. Weasley's wand, hitting Ginny on the belly.

"This spell is set to show us if a woman has conceived a baby in the last 24 hours..." Mrs. Weasley began eagerly explaining, "... Now, once a green orb of smoke will exit from Ginny's mouth..." Ginny let out a red orb of smoke, stopping Mrs. Weasley's lecture.

She stared at it, shocked.

"I guess this means she's not pregnant..." Sirius mater of factly said, turning toward his cousin, "Nymphadora, could you please pass me- _OUCH!_" He yelped as Tonks sharply elbowed him in the ribs.

Mrs. Weasley's face started taking a prune complexion that would have made Uncle Vernon proud.

She turned to Harry, murder in her eyes.

"Harry, please, let me give you and your friends a tour of the house..." Sirius said, quickly jumping up from his sit and coming to aid his godson.

"Wonderful Idea!" Hermione said, grabbing hold of Ginny and exiting the room.

"HARRY POTTER...!" Mrs. Weasley began shrieking as Sirius grabbed Harry and shoved him over the threshold of the kitchen, closing the door behind as he exited and putting a locking charm on it.

"This will resist for some minutes..." He urgently said as he blocked the door with his emaciated body, "You three, go hide on the second room on the fourth floor..."

"HARRY POTTER COME BACK HERE THIS ISTANT!" They heard from the other side of the door.

"... Only teenagers can enter it..."

"STAND BACK!" They heard Moody growl as his claustrophobia started to kick in, "BOMBAR-_OUCH!_"

"Whoops, clumsy me..." They heard Tonks giggling.

"... Stay there until I tell you is safe to get out..." The pounding returned, "... Or until she kills me..."

"Sirius..." Harry started saying.

"Go!" He commanded his godson.

Harry hastily climbed the stone steps as the girls followed him.

* * *

After a quick stop at the girls' room where to retrieve Harry's wand, Harry, Hermione and Ginny quickly climbed the stairs till they reached the fourth floor, heading toward the previously concealed room.

They entered it, quickly closing the door behind them and locking it with a key.

The room was another gloomy, cavernous room, the only light given from a small window facing outside and some already lit oil lamps as several carpets were covering the otherwise cold, stony floor. The circular room was filled with shelves which were in turn filled with several books. In the centre of the room was a still intact circular bed with red sheets.

"I wonder what was the purpose of this room..." Harry wondered aloud, sniffing the stale air.

"I wonder why this room isn't dirty like the others..." Ginny muttered, remembering far too well all the cleanings she had to endure in the past weeks.

"Hermione, what do you...?" He said, turning to his friend before her hand collided against his cheek with a loud slap.

Harry put a hand on his injured cheek, "What was that for?!"

"That, Harry, was for forcing us to hide from the inhabitants of the house in which we were hiding." She stated, her tone even.

"Us?" Harry asked, confused, "What do you mean "Us", Hermione, I'm the one Ginny's mom wants to castrate."

"And you think she wouldn't do anything to Ginny for failing to conceive an heir and marry you?" Hermione asked, a hedge in her voice, "And I'm not abandoning you, not after doing it all this summer." She said, her voice softening.

"Hermione..." Harry began saying.

But the no doubt touching moment that would have ensued from that was quickly interrupted by two loud cracks.

"Hello...!"

"... Harry!"

Harry, being the brave Gryffindor he was, made what he will forever deny was a little girl scream as he ducked behind the girls, using Ginny as a human shield between himself and her brothers.

Ginny huffed in frustration, "Harry, they won't kill you..."

"They're your brothers, Ginny..." He said from behind her, his mouth awfully close to her shoulder blades, "... Of course they will kill me for what I did to you!"

"Why, what did you do to Ginny?" Fred and George both jovially asked.

"He took my virginity and mum went spare because of that..." She said, shrugging.

Booth twins gave him a dark look which made Harry quiver in fear and made Ginny and Hermione roll her eyes.

"Did he hurt you?" One of them (Fred?) asked his sister.

"Did he rape you?" The other twin asked, a menacing edge in his voice.

"No and no..." She answered in an exasperate tone, "I'm fine, guys..."

Both twins' look remained dark for a second before brighten considerably.

"That's good, then..." One of them said.

"... See you once mum boils off." The other concluded, both of them ready to apparate away.

"Wait..." Harry tentatively asked, "... You're not going to kill me?"

"Nah...!"

"... Not today..."

"... Or tomorrow, for that matter..."

"...As long as Ginny is happy..."

"... We're happy...!"

"... But hurt her in any way..."

"... And you will dearly pay!"

And with that, they both apparated away.

Harry gulped, "Well, that makes two less Weasleys out for my blood for the time being."

"Count Charlie out of it too..." Hermione stated as she inspected the shelves, "... He's still in Romania so, unless he grabs Norbert and rides him here; you don't have to worry about him..."

"Besides, Bill doesn't want to disembowel you; He's too engrossed in wanking off at the memory of his meetings with Fleur..." Ginny grimaced, "... Morgana, I've never seen someone with a bigger unrequited crush in all my life..."

"Uh, and Percy has been cut off from the family, so you're alright with him." Hermione stated as she took a book out of the shelves.

She gave the cover a glance before hastily putting it back on the shelves, her eyes wide.

"Ehm..." She said, slightly blushing, "... I guess I've discovered the purpose of this room..."

"What is it?" Harry asked, curiosity in his voice.

Hermione blush deepened, "I think this is Sirius', Ehm, "pleasure" room from when he lived here..."

Harry eyes went wide, "Really?"

Hermione nodded, too embarrassed to talk.

"That reminds me..." Ginny interjected, "... You still need to get shagged silly by Harry!"

"Ginny...!" Hermione yelled, still blushing, "... Sex it's what brought us in this situation, we don't need to worsen it!"

"So you don't want to shag him?" Ginny teased her, "You don't want his big, hard, throbbing cock pounding in your young, tight pussy..." Hermione shuddered, "... You don't want his mouth sucking and licking your hard nipples..."

"No!" Hermione snapped, slightly trembling, "And there's nothing you can say or do to make me change my mind!"

Ginny made a devious smirk before rushing towards her brainy friend, cupping her face with her hands and crushing her mouth on hers.

Hermione's eyes went wide as she put both her hands on the younger girl's shoulders, pushing her away.

"What are you-_MPFGHH!_" She tried to protest before Ginny's mouth returned on hers.

As Hermione mumbling of protest started dying, quickly followed by Hermione's little moans of pleasure as she give in to her, opening her mouth and allowing Ginny's tongue to slid inside, Harry's member started hardening.

As she cupped with one of her hands Hermione's still covered boobs, Ginny, casted a glance at Harry, eyeing Harry's bulge.

Hermione whimpered, powerless against the other girl's touch.

"It's all yours!" Ginny stated, breaking the kiss and pushing Hermione down on the bed.

She departed sitting cross-legged on the ground, her back against the shelves.

She gave Harry an urging look, "Go on, shag her before she changes her mind."

"Ehm..." He sat on the edge of the bed, slightly blushing, "... I'm a bit uncomfortable about it..."

Ginny gave him a disbelieving look, "Harry, we had sex yesterday, and you didn't seem so much "uncomfortable" then."

"Yeah, but..." he mumbled, "... It was different then"

"How so?" Ginny asked in a flat tone.

"Well, for one thing, you did mostly all the work..." He muttered aloud.

"Oh for Merlin's sake..." She mumbled before turning to Hermione, "... Hermione, if you please, shove your tongue in Harry's mouth..."

Hermione blushed before rising from her supine position, tentatively putting her hands on his shoulders as she sat on his lap, on her knees on the bed, her legs spread, straddling him.

"Hermione..." He breathed out as her head started slowly approaching his, her eyes closed.

"Harry..." She whispered as her lips started to gently brush against his. Harry eyes closed as he returned the somewhat chaste kiss.

They shortly after broke their kiss, opening their eyes, their lips inches apart, as they both breathed evenly. Harry opened his eyes, his sight greeted by the sight of a heavy lidded Hermione licking her lips.

Ginny groaned in frustration, "Morgana, you two are such virgins!" He took a book from a nearby shelf, opening it at random, "Call me once the show gets interesting..." She stated as she started eyeing the book. Her eyes widened "... I didn't know you could do that with your wand..." She muttered, now engrossed in the book's moving pictures.

Ignoring their younger and hornier friend, Harry's lips quickly returned on Hermione's, his tongue darting out of his mouth, tasting her sealed mouth. She shivered as she brought her left hand on his back, gently stroking it in a circular motion, her right one cupping his face.

Her mouth opened, granting his tongue access, which quickly started caressing hers, scrapping her teeth. His right hand started tenderly cupping her right, still covered breast, as his left hand started stroking her back, mimicking her movements on his.

Hermione broke the kiss again as she started trailing kisses on his jawline, her right hand leaving his cheek to rest on his chest. Through her hand, Hermione could hear Harry's heart beating fast as his left hand trailed down Hermione's back toward her ass, firmly grabbing it. She gasped, her mouth quickly silenced by his as he grabbed with his right hand the hem of Hermione's sweater.

He broke the kiss as he pulled her out of her sweater, revealing her bra-caged cleavage. His mouth quickly flew to one of her covered nipples, sucking through the blue fabric and making Hermione sigh, her eyes fluttering closed.

His hand went behind his back, ready to unclasp her bra. "Wait..." She breathed out, her hands firmly holding his arms in place. She looked down at his bulge in his pants, hungrily licking her lips.

"... I need to experiment something first..."she said as she got down from his lap, standing on her knees on the carpet covered floor. "Hermione..." Harry began saying as she forcibly divaricated his legs. "Shush, I need to concentrate..." She said as she undid the belt of his trousers.

Harry began sweating as he lifted is hips in the air allowing her to lower both his trousers and boxers and revealing his already erect cock. Hermione started to blush at the sight.

"Now, let's see if I remember that book correctly..." She said as she took his cock in her small hand, firmly holding it. She stared at it, fascinated, before tentatively stroking it once. She kept stroking it in a slow, agonizing peace, her brows furrowed in deep concentration.

"Hermione..." Harry heavily breathed out, "... You're killing me..." He said as she lowered her mouth on his erect member, gently kissing his crown. He let out a soft whimper, his whole body except the most important bit butter in the girl's hand.

Her tongue darted out, caressing his length as she kept stroking him, her other hand now softly massaging his balls. He whimpered again, "Hermione, if you keep doing this..." he warned as she took a small part of his cock in her mouth.

Her mouth leaved his member with a pop, making Harry groan. "I didn't ask you to stop..." He whined as she quickly stood up, lowering her jeans. Harry eyes widened as she removed with a swift motion both her jeans and panties, revealing her slightly furry pussy.

She blushed as she unclasped her bra, standing there, naked, in front of him as she resisted the impulse to cover herself with her arms.

Harry slowly gulped at the sight, "Merlin, you're beautiful Hermione..."

Hermione's blush deepened as they both heard Ginny hum in agreement.

They both turned to the red head they had ignored since then. "Please don't mind me..." She breathed out between pants, both her hands inside her panties, rubbing furiously at the sight of Hermione's nakedness, her skirt discarded on the ground, her eyes glossily entranced on them "... I'm just having fun here..."

Hermione's blush deepened as she turned to Harry. She approached him, slowly lowering herself on his manhood, grunting in pain.

Harry's cock reached Hermione's hymen. Harry waited for the girl to lower herself further and break it, like Ginny did the day before but, as he saw Hermione still shivering, her hips frozen, he decided to take maters in his own hands.

With a swift roll of his hips, he rolled over, now him on top of her, as she gave a startled gasp. He swiftly moved in, breaking her hymen and taking his virginity as both teens yelped in pain, sticky blood coming out from Hermione's cunt.

Hermione shivered under Harry's weight. "You're good?" He asked, concerned. The witch just nodded as he started to slowly move his hips, making her adjust to his length. Their rhythm slowly started to quicken as his mouth once again claimed hers, his tongue tasting, Hermione's usual flavour tainted with the one of his cock. She moaned his name, her eyes closed, as she started to slightly buck against his hips.

Their movement started to became frantic as Hermione's hands went down on her clit, starting to rub it furiously. She closed her eyes, louder and louder screams coming out of her mouth. Soon, Harry felt her folds clenching around his shaft as he heard her scream one last time before slumping down, her face the portrait of satisfaction.

Harry grunted as he kept pounding in her, "I'm about to cum!" He announced, thus making her eyes shot wide.

"NOT INSIDE ME!" She screamed, pushing him away with all of her strength.

He fell down on the carpet covered floor, his cock twitching one last time before shooting his load on Harry's abdomen. "Hermione!" he chastised her from his position.

"I'm sorry..." She said, slightly blushing, "But I don't want to raise a brood of green eyed babies like Ginny..." and, at the look of sorrow on Harry's eyes, she added, "... At least not yet..."

"Great!" Ginny yelled, standing from her position, "My turn now!" She said, heading towards Harry probably to clean his abdomen of his spunk and then shag him silly.

Unfortunately, Ginny's devious plans of debauchery were interrupted as they heard poundings on the door.

"GINEVRA WEASLEY, YOU GET OUT OF THERE THIS INSTANT!"

* * *

**A N 5: Ah, the subtle art of canon tweaking. Basically, I've here made Bill/Fleur completely one sided on Bill's part (It's a common thing that usually happens to Weasleys in Fanon). Do you know what that means? It means that Fleur can freely join the Harem (Sometime in the future)! Yay!**

**A N 6: Okay, look, I've read My Immortal once (or twice) and it scared me for life. Because, from that day, I'm afraid to describe my characters' clothes. So I ask, how can I overcome this?**

**A N 7: Okay, has the Smut improved since last chapter? Is it worse? Answer me with a (possibly) constructive review, please.**


	4. CHAPTER 3

**A N: Don't own. Rowling and Co Does.**

**A N 2: WARNING FOR THE CHAPTER: Dub-Con Oral Sex and 69 (Dubious on Harry's part) (Guess who's the girl...)**

**A N 3: Duke Drake: Thanks, I will try. Fortunately, they will soon go to Hogwarts, this means that the only outfit they will wear (unless they're role-playing) are the standard school robes. The one of the Movies, thought, maybe skimpier and with a more "Japanese Schoolgirl" vibe.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

**Luna Lovegood**

"_My life sucks..._" Harry thought from his supine position on his new bed, staring at the green ceiling.

Some days passed since what he had called "The best 10 hours of my life", and Harry was now confined inside Sirius' Brother Regulus' old room, and was now subjected to one of the most Slytherin rooms Harry had ever seen.

Harry sighed as he started reminiscing what brought him in such a situation.

Apparently, Sirius' "Anti-Parents Wards" as he called them had worn off over the years, granting so Mrs. Weasley access inside their hiding place. Harry still remembered her screaming at the sight of a naked, glowing Hermione, her sex sparkling with her juices (an image he had fairly used during those the lonely days he had spent confined inside the room, now furnished with a bathroom conjured on the moment by Mrs. Weasley).

Unfortunately, she wasn't the only person entering the room.

Ron was there too.

He still winced as he remembered how the red head's gaze had fallen on Hermione, who was hastily trying to cover herself as Mrs. Weasley kept screaming about "Scarlet Women" and her "Poor daughter stolen purity", and, after several seconds in which Harry could see Ron's brow deeply frowning as he tried to process what was in front of him, had fallen on Harry, his eyes burning with anger.

"_In retrospect, I probably deserved the strangling..._" He thought again as he began to subconsciously scratch his neck.

He heard a soft pop as his only contact with the outside world apparated in his room.

Harry sighed, "Hello Kreacher..."

"Bad Master's Lucky Half-Blood Brat doesn't even know how to properly greet a house elf..." The elf muttered as he put the plate filled with food on the ground, "...Bad Master's Lucky Half-Blood Brat is stupid..."

Harry sighed again, pinching the edge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, "So, what news do you bring me from the outside world?" he asked in a false cheering tone.

Kreacher grunted, "Bad Master's Lucky Half-Blood Brat's Mudblood and Blood-Traitor Bitches send their regards..." Harry subconsciously put a hand on his neck, feeling like someone was about to behead him, as the house elf kept muttering, "... Bad Master argued again with Wailing Old Muggle-Lover about Bad Master's Lucky Half-Blood Brat's jailing, and..." Harry looked up from his prone position as he heard Kreacher stop his rant.

Kreacher looked hesitant.

He gave the house elf a look, prompting him to go on.

Kreacher's black teeth started to bit his lips, as in trying to keep his mouth shout, before he blurted out "Someone stole Master Regulus' Whispering Locket!"

Harry's eyebrows knitted, "Someone did what?"

Kreacher eyes widened, "Master Regulus told Kreacher to not punish himself..." he said, fidgeting in his place, "... Kreacher must do what Master Regulus asked him..."

As much as Harry could remember, Regulus Black had been a Death Eater, through more out of devotion for his mother than for real belief in their preaching, and was described by Kreacher like "The Bestest, Most Wonderfulest Master Ever Lived" (which promptly gave Harry scary Dobby flashbacks).

Harry sighed again, "Do you know who stole it?"

Kreacher shook his head.

"Have you told Sirius?" He asked again at the elf.

The elf shook again his head.

"Why?" Harry asked, starting to get pissed off by the elf behaviour.

"Master Regulus commanded to never tell the family about Master Regulus' Whispering Locket..." Kreacher explained, still fidgeting in his place.

Harry sighed in exasperation, "And let me guess, you want me to find who stole it..."

Kreacher started to nod at such a speed that Harry was afraid his head was about to fall off.

"Why me?" Harry almost whined.

"Because Bad Master's Lucky Half-Blood Brat is lucky." He said, disappearing then with a soft pop.

Harry groaned, "Great, now even house elves give me cryptic answers!"

He grumped, getting out of bed and starting to prepare his school trunk, eagerly wanting to leave that dreadful house and return to Hogwarts.

* * *

After the most awkward walk of his life, most of it passing with Mrs. Weasley glaring alternatively between him and Sirius' dog form, Harry finally reached King Cross' station, soon entering platform nine and three-quarter and, after quickly greeting all his adult friends (or at least the ones who didn't want to disembowel him), Harry finally hopped on the train, his friends quickly following him.

"Well," said Fred, clapping his hands together, "can't stand around chatting all day, we've got business to discuss with Lee. See you later," and he and George disappeared down the corridor to the right. The train was gathering still more speed, so that the houses outside the window flashed past, and they swayed where they stood.

"Shall we go and find a compartment, then?" Harry asked, eager to finally talk to someone who wasn't Kreacher.

"Ehm…" Hermione started saying, fidgeting in her place.

"Sorry, mate…" Ron started saying, venom in his voice, "… But I and Hermione have to go to the perfect's carriage…" He proudly puffed up his chest, "… You know, for prefects' business…"

"Oh…" said Harry, "Right. Fine."

"I don't think we'll have to stay there all journey," said Hermione quickly. "Our letters said we just get instructions from the Head Boy and Girl and then patrol the corridors from time to time."

Ron sneered as he grabbed both Hermione's and Ginny's arms, "I wouldn't count on it..."

"Excuse me!" Ginny yelled, trying to free her arm, "I don't have to go into the prefect's carriage with you two!"

"Yes, you have..." Ron said as he started dragging the two girls away from Harry, "... You know what mom had said about _Him..._"

"Ron, let me go!" Hermione said, trying to yank her arm free from his grasp, "You're hurting me!"

Harry's heart clenched.

"Ron..." He began saying before the red head gave a loud yelp of pain as he quickly let the girls' arms go.

Both the girls watched him in shock.

"Let's go..." He whimpered, his voice higher of an octave, as he exited the carriage into the next one "... And you better not wander off, Ginny..."

"Ron, are you alright?" he heard as both girl followed his friend in the next carriage, both of them giving a quick glance to him before disappearing from his view.

Harry started feeling an odd sense of loss, both because of Ron recent behaviour and his loss of a possibility to finally spend some time with Ginny and Hermione.

There was still so much they had to discuss.

Sighing, he started searching for a free compartment, passing by several students who gave him wary looks. After some time and several full compartments, the most amusing of them the one with Neville crammed between 4 unknown witches, each one of them dressed in a different house colour, Harry finally found an almost empty compartment, its only inhabitant a weird looking young girl.

"Ehm..." He said as he entered the compartment, "Is it okay if I take a seat?"

The girl beside the window looked up. She had straggly, waist-length, dirty blonde hair, very pale eyebrows and protuberant eyes that gave her a permanently surprised look. The girl gave oil an aura of distinct dottiness. Perhaps it was the fact that she had stuck her wand behind her left ear for safekeeping, or that she had chosen to wear a necklace of Butterbeer corks, or that she was reading a magazine upside-down, or that she was wearing some weird, butterfly-shaped purple glasses. Her eyes came to rest on Harry. She nodded.

"Thanks," Harry mumbled as he stowed his trunk and Hedwig's cage in the luggage rack and sat down. Luna watched him over her upside-down magazine, which was called The Quibbler. She did not seem to need to blink as much as normal humans. She stared and stared at Harry, who had taken the seat opposite her and now wished he hadn't.

After some minutes of intense staring, Harry broke the silence, "Ehm, I'm Harry Potter…"

"Yes, I know who you are…" She said in a dreamy tone.

"Oh, Ehm…" He stuttered, "… Of course."

Silence returned in the room.

"And you are…?" Harry asked, sweating under the girl's prominent stare.

"Have you ever noticed how our life seems like the beginning of a bad Muggle porn?" the girl asked, her dreamy tone unfazed by her words, "… And I'm Luna, Luna Lovegood…"

If Harry was drinking something, he would have probably spit it. "I-I'm sorry?" he sputtered, taken aback by the girl question.

"I said I'm Luna Lovegood." She repeated in a slow tone, as she was talking to a small child.

"No, the… the part before that."

"Oh!" She exclaimed, her big, unblinking eyes still on him from behind her magazine and her glasses, "I was asking you if you ever noticed how our life seems like the beginning of a bad Muggle porn…" She repeated with the same, dreamy tone.

"Right…" Harry slowly said, wishing very hard of being in another compartment.

Silence fell again in the room.

Luna gave a dreamy, resigned sigh before putting her magazine down on the seat near her, "Harry, I was suggesting you to have sex with me…"

"Uh?" Harry asked, confused, "But… I barely know you!"

"But I know you…" She stated as she kept staring at him, "… Besides, the concentration of Imps around you is telling me that you're very lucky..." she said, blinking for the first time since he met her.

"Concentration of what?" He asked, clueless about whatever the girl was talking about.

"There's nothing to be ashamed about..." She said, probably misinterpreting his outburst, "... I saw another boy having an infestation of them on this train, thought his weren't as much as yours..."

"What are you talking about" He asked, utterly confused.

"About your Imp infestation..." She repeated again with her slow, dreamy tone, "... That's the reason because your life seems like bad Muggle porn..."

Harry furrowed his brows, "_Well, that would explain why I managed to have sex with two of my closest friends in barely 10 hours..."_

"Exactly..." She said, almost like she was reading his mind, "... Now, off you go, let's get the fun started..." she stated, beginning to unbuttoning her blouse.

"Wait!" He stopped her, "What are you doing?!"

"I'm getting prepared for the sex, silly, you don't want the Imps to get mad, do you?" She asked, her dreamy tone getting a dangerous edge.

Harry slowly gulped, remembering Ron's previous pain. If the girls was right, and those Imps existed and were capable of causing him harm, maybe it was wise for him to follow this girl advice and have sex with her.

A flashing image of Hermione and Ginny passed through his mind.

"Ehm, I can't..." He said, causing Luna to make an adorable pout, "... I kind of have a girlfriend... I think..."

Luna excitedly started to clap her hand, "Uh! Uh! Uh! You've already fucked someone!" She said, the swearing almost alien in her dreamy, sing-song voice, "How many are they? Can I call her sisters? I've always desired a sister!"

Harry stared at the excited younger girl as she started to bounce on her step, "Yes, I've already..." Harry's voice dropped, blushing slightly, "... Fucked someone, so I don't know if they would be too eager about me fucking someone else..."

Luna pouted, "You're right, I probably should be introduced to the first harem members before asking to enter..."

Harry started to nod before abruptly stopping, finally having caught up what she was saying, "What? Harem?"

"Yes..." She explained to him, "... Your harem. Imps usually prevent already marked girls to join other males or unmarked girls in carnal attraction, thus basically preventing them from having sex with everyone else except you or your other girls..." Luna dreamy face imperceptibly grimaced, "... Or your other boys, if you're that kind of guy..."

Harry gulped, "W-what happens when one of the girls is about to have a... Ehm... carnal interaction with someone else?"

Luna shrugged, "Well, if it was consensual on the girl's part, the Imps usually limit themselves to cause some amusing incidents to the involved parties..." Her wide eyes suddenly turned dark, "... But if the guy is forcing himself in any way on them..."

Harry slowly gulped again, sweating profusely.

"You're sweating..." Luna stated.

"Why would you want something like that?" Harry asked confused, "... Knowing it would end your free will..."

Luna shrugged, "I'm lonely..." She started saying, a single tear coming down from her left eye.

Harry heart clenched at the sight.

* * *

Lord "Noseless" Voldemort wailed in shock in his throne room at Malfoy Manor, his hand on his cold, dead heart as once again waves of intense feelings started attacking him.

He desperately wanted to hug a puppy.

"Lucius!" He yelled as he stumbled upright, his wand already in his hand.

Lucius Malfoy started saying as he entered the room "Yes, my lo...?"

"CRUCIO!" Voldemort yelled, a green jot of light erupting from his wand and striking Malfoy Sr. on the chest.

The man started to girlishly scream, a feat only a true Malfoy can achieve when under intense pain, as pain blossomed through all his body.

The dark lord broke the curse, panting heavily.

"Thank you, Lucius..." Voldemort said between pants, "... You can go now..."

"Yes, my lord..." The man whimpered, stumbling away from the room.

* * *

"Luna..." Harry started saying before he heard the door locking.

"What the hell?" He exclaimed as he turned to Luna, who in turn looked back at him, a devious grin on her otherwise innocent face, her wand in her right hand, aimed at the door.

"I don't want to be lonely..." She said, flinging herself at him, her wide eyes dark with lust.

She stranded him with her legs, her hands gently caressing his messy hairs, her mouth suddenly on his. He opened his mouth in surprise, thus permitting Luna's tongue to explore his oral cavity. He placed both his hands on her shoulders, trying to push her away.

"Luna!" He exclaimed as he finally managed to break the kiss "No! We cannot do this, no matter how lonely you might- What are you doing?" He asked as she quickly unbuttoned her blouse, opening it with a yank.

Harry stared at Luna's uncovered breasts and slowly gulped. He quickly diverted his gaze, his member starting to harden. "What was that for?" He asked, still looking away. He could hear the pout in her words, "You were supposed to turn into a frenzy animal..." She grabbed his right hand, firmly holding it onto her left breast, "... Maybe if we apply some pressure..."

Harry tried to take away his hand as she firmly held it in place with an iron grip, "Luna, please..." He pleaded.

She took his chin with her left hand, turning her face toward hers, "I want this, Harry Potter. I want friends, I want a big family and I want you..." She said, her wide eyes locked with his, "... If my guesses are correct, one of your girls his probably Ginny..." She said, her right hand leaving his and going down to his trousers, starting stroking his length through the fabric, making him whimper, "... And knowing how much... adventurous she'd become since last year, she'll probably be fine with me..." She gave him a bright smile, "... And it seems you're fine too."

"How so?" He asked, his breathing now shallow.

"You've not yet moved your hand away from my boob..." She giggled, her mouth once again on his.

Harry stopped resisting, returning the kiss, his hand slowly starting to squeeze her breast. She moaned, her left hand leaving his face as she started to undo his belt. He gasped as her tiny hands started slipping down the hem of his boxers, grabbing his already erect member.

"Oh dear..." she exclaimed, breaking the kiss, "... Not to alarm you, but it seems you have a Basilisk in your trousers!"

Harry gave her a strange look, not sure if she was joking or not. She grinned, returning to kiss him as her hand left his cock and started to lower his pants and boxers. He whimpered as her right hand returned on his cock, starting to slowly stroking it.

"We cannot have sex, though..." Luna said as her mouth descended from his toward his crotch, "... Not until you properly present me to the others, at least."

Harry groaned, "Then what do you count to do?"

Her face reached his cock, her mouth inches from his crown, "Well, I still need to get marked, this means make you come in some direct way..." She finished as she quickly opened her mouth, swallowing half of Harry's cock in one gulp.

Harry grunted as the girl's head started to slowly move up and down, her dexterous tongue caressing every inch of his cock inside her wet, warm mouth.

Harry was in heaven.

"Don't stop..." He moaned as her hands started cupping his balls. Harry entwined his right hand with Luna's hair, bobbing her head down and making her swallow more of his cock. He whimpered as he kept moving her head, his hips occasionally bucking against her mouth.

He frowned. "Wait..." he said, grabbing her head and separating her mouth from his cock, "... What about you?"

"Uh?" Luna asked, confused. "How will you come?" Harry explained the younger girl. She dreamily watched him for a while before reaching a solution. "Wait..." She said, grabbing her panties from under her skirt and pulling them away. She distractedly launched them toward Harry's general direction.

With a swift movement, Luna started standing on her hands, her body falling against his sitting position. Harry stared startled, as the younger witch promptly shoved her naked (And Harry noticed Bald) pussy against his face.

"There, so you're no more preoccupied about me..." She said, her head on his still covered abdomen, "... I cannot take the pleasure of taking your cock in my mouth, but I can still make you come with my hand..." She said as she grabbed Harry's cock with both hands, starting to stroke it.

Harry whimpered, "L-Luna, it woul- _Oh_- It wouldn't be better if- _Merlin don't stop_- If we did this on the ground?"

Luna giggled, "... Silly Harry, normal 69s are boring..." she said as she kept stroking him.

Harry whimpered again as he inserted his tongue inside her already glistening pussy, starting to taste her folds. She shivered, putting her mouth near the base of his cock and gently kissing it, trying to stretch her head towards it. Harry whimpered as some pre-cum started to come out of his cock. She shivered as she took it with her hands and started to coat his member with it.

Harry groaned in her lower lips as his tongue continued to stimulate her. Her hips bucked against his face as her breathing started to get heavy, her hands taking a frantic speed in their stroking.

Harry groaned again as white cum started erupting from his cock which, being it aimed at Luna, covered her face in spunk. Harry was afraid the girl was upset because of that, fear that quickly revealed itself unfounded as he heard her give a breathy giggle before her folds started clenching against his tongue, spraying her juices against his face.

"Mmmmh, yummy..." he heard her say as she turned her face towards him, twisting her spine in an almost unnatural way, brightly smiling at him.

Harry heard then the door unlock and open.

He turned towards the now open door of the compartment only to find...

... Hermione, Ginny and Ron, the three of them watching him with various degrees of amusement and horror on their face.

"Ehm..." He started saying, her face and mouth still full of Luna's juices, "... I can explain..."

* * *

**A N 4: Before you start asking, Neville's "girls" were Demelza Robins, Marietta Edgecombe, Eloise Midgen and Astoria Greengrass. So count them out of the Harem already.**

**A N 5: I was reading the chapter from Book 5 with the same title as this when I realized something. Luna had a huge crush on Ron during book 5. Why? I mean, I can understand her OBVIOUS crush on Harry during book 5, but why Ron? WHY RON?!**

**A N 6: Sorry for the short ad not sexual Smut. How it was?**

**A N 7: NEXT CHAPTER SNEAK PEAK: Luna is properly introduced to the rest of the Harem, Some plot happens and we discover where our "heroes" will pass their nights.**


	5. CHAPTER 4

**A N: Don't own. Not even a little bit.**

**A N 2: WARNING FOR THE CHAPTER: EDIT: Light Femslash. VERY light Femslash (G/L; Hr/L; G/Hr/L)**

**A N 3: Pettybureaucrat: All her Snorkack hunts MUST have improved her agility and flexibility in some way. At least, that's my head canon.**

**A N 4: Wow, so much chapters in such a short range of time! Well, don't get used to it.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 4**

**The Coach Ride (See What I Did Here?)**

"Harry... James... Potter..." Hermione began saying, silently fuming.

"Oh, she's used the full name..." Ginny snickered, "... It means you're in trouble, Harry..."

Harry slowly gulped, which incidentally made him swallow some of Luna juices.

"Ehm..." He started saying before discreetly starting to push Luna's frame away from his body. Luna shrieked as she fell to the ground, "Ehm, sorry..." He said as she rose, swatting her clothes with her hands and returning to her sit.

"You... you..." Hermione began saying, her face redder every second, "You pig!" She stomped her foot down, quickly running away from them through the carriage corridor.

"Does she do that a lot?" Luna asked with curiosity.

"Only when she's really upset..." Harry said while grimacing, sadness in his voice.

"Ah, I knew you would have broken her heart!" Ron triumphantly yelled before running toward where Hermione had left, "Hermione, wait, let me help you!"

Harry grimace widened.

Ginny gave the two teens in the compartment curious looks before entering it, closing and locking the door behind her.

She sat down next to Harry, opening her mouth as to say something. She closed it as she saw Luna's face, "Ehm, you know your face is still covered in cum, right?"

Luna blinked, "Of course, Ginny, why shouldn't I know?" she said as she removed her purple eyeglasses from her face, some of Harry's spunk on its lenses. She eyed it warily.

"Ehm, don't you want me to clean it?" Ginny asked her wide eyed friend.

Luna raised her gaze from her ruined eyeglasses, "Great idea, Ginevra!" Luna excitedly said.

"Okay..." Ginny said as she drew out her wand.

"Wait!" She stopped her, "Don't use your wand..."

Ginny face briefly scrunched up in confusion before a deviant grin turned on her lips. She stood up from her sit, approaching her classmate. They're lips connected, Luna's mouth almost instantly opening, allowing Ginny's tongue entrance, permitting her to both taste Harry's cum and the girl's mouth.

They kept making out before Ginny's lips departed from Luna's, trailing toward her cum-covered cheek. She liked the white seed, savouring it in her mouth before swallowing it. She kept licking and kissing Luna's face, cleaning it of all the cum, before taking in her mouth the last drop of it.

Ginny smiled, not swallowing the cum as she kissed again the blonde girl, shoving the drop inside her mouth.

They broke the kiss as Ginny again sat down next to Harry and Luna started buttoning back her blouse.

They turned to Harry, who was still brooding over Hermione's reaction.

Ginny face fell, "Harry..."

But before she could say anything, the compartment doors opened for the second time.

Harry looked around; he had expected this, but that did not make the sight of Draco Malfoy smirking at him from between his cronies Crabbe and Goyle any more enjoyable.

"What?" he said aggressively, before Malfoy could open his mouth.

"Manners, Potter, or I'll have to give you a detention," drawled Malfoy, whose sleek blond hair and pointed chin were just like his father's. "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments."

Harry groaned, "Could you please just let me be? That's really not the time..."

Malfoy's lips curled, "Tell me, how does it feel being second-best to Weasley, Potter?" he asked.

Harry groaned again as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, "Malfoy, I'm warning you…"

The blonde boy sneered, "I bet he's probably shagging the Mudblood bitch right now…"

"Okay, that's it!" Harry snapped, "DOBBY!"

The elf popped inside the train compartment, "Mr. Harry Potter Sir asked for Dobby?"

"Yes…" He said, gesturing to Malfoy and his minions, "Could you please beat the shit out of them…?"

Dobby turned toward Malfoy before he started to giggle with childish glee, "Mr. Harry Potter Sir wants Dobby to…"

Malfoy sneered, "So like you, Potter, sending the trash to…" But before he could finish, a squealing, madly giggling Dobby propelled himself against his chest, making him fall and starting to pummel the blonde boy's face.

"Mr. Harry Potter Sir is the Bestest Wizard ever lived!" Dobby started praising, "He lets Dobby have fun with Bad Old Young Master!"

"Help me!" Malfoy said before popping out of existence with Dobby, leaving two confused Crabbe and Goyle behind.

Both thugs blinked, as the only 5 brain cells of their collective brain disappeared with Malfoy.

They aimlessly started stumbling away from the compartment, not sure in what to do.

Harry closed the door, locking it for a third time.

Ginny watched him in shock, "You have a house elf?" she asked, more concerned about that titbit of information than about Draco's fate, "Hermione will go ballistic for that…"

Harry grumbled as he returned brooding, "He's not my house elf…" He said, staring outside the window, "He's just a free elf who works at Hogwarts and may or may not show up when I call him…"

"Since when?" Ginny asked, trying to divert Harry's mind from his angsting.

Harry grumped, "Kreacher told me house elves can instantly know when they're called…" He said, still staring outside the window, "… It's up to them choosing if coming or not…"

And with that he returned to his pity fest.

Ginny sighed, looking toward Luna who was intently staring at the wall behind her, her weird glasses again on her face, the strand of cum on them mysteriously gone.

"What are you doing?" She asked, a bit crept out by her blonde friend.

"Following Hermione…" She said in a dreamy tone, "… It seems she's crying in another compartment…"

Harry groaned in discomfort.

"Ronald's with her..." She continued, making Harry groan louder, "… It seems he's trying to comfort her, thought I think he's not doing such a good job…"

Ginny paled, "Oh, Merlin, he probably wants to…"

"… Take advantage of her already vulnerable mood?" Luna concluded her red headed friend statement.

"Yeah…" Ginny concluded with a grimace.

Harry sighed, "I probably deserve it…"

"Yeah, but she doesn't deserve it!" Ginny shrieked, shuddering, "Nobody deserves to have sex with Ron…"

"That's a bit harsh…" Luna started to say.

"A bit rash?" Ginny scoffed, "Live with him for as much as I did, and we'll see if it's really "A bit harsh"…" She shuddered again, "… I pity the girl who'll marry him…"

"And now he's trying to fondle her…" Luna announced to the other occupants of the compartment.

Harry's heart clenched.

"Oh, I think Ronald just passed out…" Luna mater of factly said, "… I never knew your friend Hermione could give such powerful slaps…"

Harry smirked faintly at that.

"Well, I guess we should change in our school robes now…" Ginny suggested with a grin.

She pulled down the door blinds, stopping Harry with a hand, who in turn was trying to exit the compartment, "There's no need for you to leave…"

Harry's smirk widened.

* * *

They shuffled out of the compartment feeling the first sting of the night air on their faces as they joined the crowd in the corridor. Slowly, they moved towards the doors. Harry could smell the pine trees that lined the path down to the lake. He stepped down on to the platform and looked around, listening for the familiar call of "firs'-years over 'ere... firs'-years..."

But it did not come. Instead, a quite different voice, a brisk female one, was calling out, "First-years line up over here, please! All first-years to me!"

A lantern came swinging towards Harry and by its light he saw the prominent chin and severe haircut of Professor Grubbly-Plank, the witch who had taken over Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures lessons for a while the previous year.

"Where's Hagrid?" he said out loud.

"I don't know," said Ginny, "but we'd better get out of the way, we're blocking the door."

"Oh, yeah..."

Harry and Ginny became separated as they moved off along the platform and out through the station. Jostled by the crowd, Harry squinted through the darkness for a glimpse of Hagrid; he had to be here, Harry had been relying on it - seeing Hagrid again was one of the things he'd been looking forward to most. But there was no sign of him.

"_He can't have left..._" Harry told himself as he shuffled slowly through a narrow doorway on to the road outside with the rest of the crowd, "_He's just got a cold or something..._"

He looked around for Hermione, wanting to apologize for what he did with that Luna girl, but couldn't see her anywhere, so he allowed himself to be shunted forwards on to the dark rain-washed road outside Hogsmeade Station.

Here stood the hundred or so horseless stagecoaches that always took the students above first year up to the castle. Harry glanced quickly at them, turned away to keep a lookout for Hermione, then did a double-take.

The coaches were no longer horseless. There were creatures standing between the carriage shafts. If he had had to give them a name, he supposed he would have called them horses, though there was something reptilian about them, too. They were completely fleshless, their black coats clinging to their skeletons, of which every bone was visible. Their heads were dragonish, and their pupil-less eyes white and staring. Wings sprouted from each wither - vast, black leathery wings that looked as though they ought to belong to giant bats. Standing still and quiet in the gathering gloom, the creatures looked eerie and sinister. Harry could not understand why the coaches were being pulled by these horrible horses when they v/ere quite capable of moving along by themselves.

"He's quite beautiful, isn't him…?" said Luna's voice, right behind Harry.

"What is he?" Harry asked as he kept staring at the creepy horse-thing.

"That's Binky…" She said, "Say hello, Binky."

The horse gave a strangled neigh, startling most of the bystanders.

"What was that?" "Who neighed?" "What happened?" "Why is someone killing a horse?!"

Harry gave his schoolmates a weird look, wondering why the others seemed to not see the weird horse.

Luna conspiratorially looked around before turning to Harry, "… Other people cannot see him, poor sods…" she whispered to him.

A short distance away Draco Malfoy, his face visibly beaten even from that distance, was escorted by Crabbe and Goyle inside an empty coach which promptly departed towards the castle.

Harry kept looking around for Hermione but, not finding her, he entered the empty coach, Luna following him shortly behind.

As Harry started to brood over his current predicament with his best female friend, a flustered Ginny barged inside the coach, dragging with her a scoffing Hermione.

"Don't say a word!" She commanded before he could open his mouth as the coach's doors closed and Binky departed towards the castle, "I don't want to talk to you!"

"Hermione…" Harry started saying.

"NO!" She yelled, her voice broken "I said I don't want to talk to you!"

Harry's heart clenched.

* * *

Somewhere, inside a Gringotts' security vault guarded by a blind dragon, a small cup started jumping around, colliding with the other jewels and coins, promptly making them produce burning magical copies of themselves.

The copies started making other copies of themselves, promptly inundating the vault, as the cup kept ricocheting around.

The blind dragon turned towards the racket as the doors ripped open for the constant pressure, a flowing mass of burning gold coming towards him.

The dragon instinctively spit a column of Dragon Fire against the oncoming danger, melting the gold and stripping it away of any magic.

The cup stopped moving as she was hit by the blast of Dragon Fire, which was speculated to be stronger than Fiendfyre when used against precious, magical metals, reducing it to molten scraps.

If the dragon had been able to see, he would have saw the now molten river of gold briefly turn into a bald, silently screaming face as it fell down the nearby endless pit.

* * *

"Hermione..." Ginny said from her sit near her, "... You shouldn't be so harsh with him..."

Hermione scoffed, ""I shouldn't..." Ginny why are you so compliant about this?"

Ginny gave her friend a weird look, "Why I shouldn't be?"

"He cheated on us!" Hermione yelled loudly, "With a girl he barely knows!"

Hermione turned to Luna, who in turn dreamily waved at her.

"The more the merrier..." Ginny said, shrugging.

Hermione groaned in frustration.

"It was bound to happen..." Luna said with a light tone.

"I'm sorry?" Hermione asked, outraged, "Are you telling me that I'm not- I mean WE aren't enough for him?"

"Of course not..." Luna answered, "... I'm just saying that you're too much narrow minded for..."

""Narrow Minded"?" Hermione asked, scandalized, "Me? Narrow minded?"

"Yes." The blonde girl answered again.

Hermione gaped, starting to do the imitation of a fish.

"I am in a relationship with my best friend and another girl!" She yelled at last, like it explained everything.

"We- We're in a relationship?" Harry asked, hope in his voice.

"You're still not allowed to talk." She reprimanded him, slightly blushing at her own admission.

"See, narrow minded." Luna said at the brunette, who turned to her.

"Narrow minded..." She grumbled, fuming in rage "I'll show you narrow minded!"

She flung herself at the younger girl in front of her, her mouth crushing on hers.

Luna hummed in pleasure as she opened her mouth, granting access to Hermione's tongue. Their tongues started dancing as Luna's hand instinctively went to the older girl's larger breasts.

Hermione broke the kiss, returning to her sit near Ginny, swatting some crumples on her school robe and skirt, her chin proud in the air.

Luna gave her a disbelieving look, "That's all?"

Hermione deflated a little.

Luna made a dreamy sigh, "Here, let me show you..."

She kneeled between Hermione's legs, forcing the open. "What... What are you doing?!" Hermione asked, alarmed, as the younger girl's hand started caressing her inner tights.

"Your life is about to change, Hermione Granger..." Luna started explaining as her hands started to crawl under Hermione's skirt, "... You need to open your mind at the new sensations you're about to experience..." Her fingers were now inches apart from Hermione's panties, "... And you need to forgive Harry..."

Hermione shuddered, "... I'm not forgiving him..."

"Shush..." Luna said as her hands took hold of her panties and slowly started to slide them down Hermione's tights. She tossed them somewhere toward Harry's general direction, "... You will forgive him..."

"I will not..." She repeated, whimpering as one of Luna's finger slid inside her, "... I hate him..."

"No, you don't..." The blonde said, a second finger sliding in and starting to move in and out. Hermione subconsciously bucked her hips against the girl's finger. She bit her lower lip, her breath shallow.

A third finger slid in, making her moan. Luna giggled, "... I think you love him instead..."

"I DON'T!" She denied as Luna's thumb started to gently caressing her clitoris, "_... Oh Merlin, faster..._" She breathed out, her hips starting to frantically move.

"No..." Luna said, lowering her speed, her other hand firmly holding Hermione's hips in place "... Not until you forgive him..."

"Never..." She breathed out before a soft scream erupted from her lips, her eyes fluttering closed.

Meanwhile, Harry was having a hard time as he saw his best friend's pussy being swiftly violated by Luna's fingers, his cock rock hard against the fabric of his trousers.

Ginny smirked at him, "You know, Luna, maybe I should help you..." She said as she turned to her older friend, her hand starting to undo Hermione's robes and shirt, thus revealing Hermione's bra-caged boobs and making Harry's cock twitch.

He whimpered as Ginny swiftly unclasped Hermione's white bra, revealing her orbs to him, as she took her left nipple in between her thumb and forefinger.

Hermione moaned, "That's not fair..." She said opening her eyes.

Her eyes fell on Harry's crotch as she started licking her lips, "Harry..." She whimpered.

"What?" Ginny asked in her hear, her tongue darting out of her mouth and catching the older girl's lobe, "What do you want him to do?"

Hermione moaned as Luna kept to slowly torturing her pussy with her fingers, "... Please, Harry, get it out..."

"Get out what?" Ginny teased her, squeezing the girl's nipple hard.

"Your cock..." She whispered as said organ twitched again in his prison of fabric, "... I want to watch it..."

"So you forgive him?" Luna asked, quickening her movements with her hand.

"YES!" She screamed, her hips bucking violently, her head banging on the wall behind because of the cramped space.

Luna grinned, "Good girl..."

Ginny turned towards Harry, "You've heard the lady here, Harry, you should..."

But before they could finish her statement, the coach came to a screeching halt, as they were finally arrived at Hogwarts.

* * *

**A N 5: And finally our "Heroes" are at Hogwarts! Alright, now I have three possible "narrative arches" (Let's call them like that) to do. I will do all the three of them, but which should I do first? (Their names should suggest you which girls are involved.) (Unfortunately, I've yet to think about an Arch that does involve Hufflepuffs except for the "Dumbledore's Army Arch" later in the story.)**

**1- What I like to call "The Great Slytherin Arch"**

**2- What I like to call "The Great Quidditch Arch"**

**3- What I like to call "Hogwarts rumour mill catch the news about Harry's Harem"**

**4- Or I can always continue with the events narrated in the books, strategically adding smut in the scenes like I've done since now.**

**A N 6: NEXT CHAPTER SNEAK PEAK (Independent to the chosen arch): Plot, Foursomes and we actually see were our "Heroes" will spend their nights this time...**


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